When Benjamin Franklin was a young printer in Philadelphia, he once had a powerful enemy in the Pennsylvania Assembly who wanted to replace Franklin as the official printer with one of his relatives. The legislator was badmouthing Franklin, and it looked like he might lose his lucrative printing contract as a result. Franklin headed down to the legislator's home and knocked at the door. The legislator was surprised to see him there and expected a confrontation. Instead, Franklin, with hat in hand, asked to borrow a rare book from the legislator's library. A week later, he brought the book back, thanking its owner profusely and saying, "I am forever in your debt. If there is anything you need, just call on me."

Franklin, an astute student of human nature and master of relationships, understood that he had to swallow his own pride to get what he wanted. He needed to appeal to the legislator's generosity and love of books to create a connection rather than fighting him head-on. Franklin retained his printing contract and gained a new powerful friend by putting himself in the debt of someone who had been "out to get him."

The Perils of Public Language

Why aren't more people successful in managing their relationships? "My premise is that most of what we've learned about human influence is wrong," said Professor Chuck Dwyer, academic director of Wharton's Building Relationships That Work and Leading and Managing People programs. "We are using the wrong tools and concepts. We try to influence people based on deeply flawed notions of why people do what they do."

Part of the problem is that modern organizations have turned to "public language" for motivating their employees. These are objectives, goals, credos, and vision and mission statements that everyone carries around on laminated cards. Managers think that this will motivate people to do things. "That's nonsense," Dwyer said. "It's not why people in organizations behave the way they do. But companies spend millions of dollars getting their vision straight, and there are huge ego investments by those who are the authors and sponsors of the "public language."

The relatively recent focus on such public language has confused the basic cause and effect of relationships. "If you go back 25 or 30 years, you can't find any of this," Dwyer said. "The only organizations with mission statements were military and religious. Now the Baldridge Award requires everyone to memorize the mission statement of their organization."

While there are studies touting the importance of mission statements, most of these are only looking at mission statements of successful companies. "Correlation is not causation," he said. "If you look at failed organizations, their 'inspiring' mission statements did not save them."

Value Satisfaction

If not lofty public language, what is it that truly motivates people in organizations? Satisfying their own values. "What seems to work a lot better is to understand that all organizations and relationships are based on potential value satisfaction," Dwyer said. "People are doing what they do to take care of what's important to them. To talk about what is important to the organization is whistling in the wind."

Organizational relationships involve power, resources, and seekers of value satisfaction (i.e., people), Dwyer said. "By whose values do you want the resources of your organization to be allocated? As Miss Piggy says, 'moi.' Don't pay attention to the public language. Make observations about what happens when you do and don't do different things. Then you can design your behavior so you obtain the results you want from others."

Distinguishing Influence From Manipulation

This type of deliberate influence is hard for some people to swallow. There is a sense that it may be manipulative. But Dwyer points out that there is nothing inherently wrong with trying to influence others. In fact, it is the fundamental focus of leadership.

The question is whether you exert this influence effectively. "Simply because you are consciously and deliberately constructing your behavior to influence other people doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong," he said. "The question is: Are you taking the welfare of other people into consideration? Manipulation involves some deceit or disregard for the welfare of others."

Self Design Your Behavior

One of the tools Dwyer uses with executives in the program is a "Self Design Workshop," where individuals look at changing their patterns of behavior. They first assess their current responses to a specific initiating event. Then, they decide how they want to think, feel, and behave and work out a training program to change themselves. With regular practice, in 3 weeks the brain responds in new ways.

"The only thing you can do to become more effective at influence is to change your patterns of behavior, and your behavior is a function of how you have been taught to think and feel," he said. "Until you make changes in your head, you can only make marginal improvements in your ability to influence people."

• Building Relationships That Work
  
  
• Leading and Managing People

• Wharton Executive Education
  
  
• The Wharton School

This month's articles:

• In the Classroom
  What really motivates people? Forget the mission statements, and focus on what people value, says Professor Chuck Dwyer.
  
  
• Wharton School Publishing
  Self-made billionaire Jon Huntsman writes that his success is based on values he learned as a child in the sand box.
  
  
• Thought Leaders
  As Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra battle in the market for ED treatments, Professor David Reibstein looks at lessons about first-mover advantages.
  
  
• Thought Leaders II
  With Boomers reaching old age, Professor Olivia Mitchell looks at pension implications, and the CEO of The Hartford considers "Grey Power" strategies for meeting and maximizing an aging workforce.
  
  
• Senior Management Programs
  On a visit to India, Wharton Fellows ask, "Will we soon be speaking Hinglish?"
  
  
• Wharton Leadership Conference
  Leaders from Patagonia, HP, Wipro, and other companies offer insights on leading with "creativity and conviction."
  
  
• Education à la Carte
  Bring knowledge to your values.